Jason R. Koivu

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Jason R. Koivu

Goodreads Author


Born
in Parts Unknown, The United States
Website

Twitter

Genre

Influences

Member Since
November 2008


The Beyond Barlow blog: http://jasonrkoivu.blogspot.com/

Sign up for the newsletter and get the latest: http://eepurl.com/ckwodA

Since writing a rip-off of The Hobbit at the age of twelve, Koivu knew he wanted to be a writer, but has taken a damn long time getting around to it.

He futzed about a few years picking up a writing degree from a small New England school that didn't require taking a language. This was HUGE, because he's rubbish with foreign languages, just ask the poor little Tokyo waitress who thinks he wants to eat her head like a sandwich.

From novel writing he jumped to journalism to movie scripts and back to novel writing. Seems like some time could've been saved by skipping the middle mediums, but he claims to have learned a l
...more

Average rating: 3.8 · 118 ratings · 82 reviews · 5 distinct worksSimilar authors
Spritzerville,…Ohio?

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3.72 avg rating — 46 ratings — published 2013 — 3 editions
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Go Home, Oaxaca. You're Drunk.

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3.83 avg rating — 30 ratings — published 2014 — 2 editions
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Tears of the Ancient and Ot...

3.67 avg rating — 15 ratings — published 2016 — 3 editions
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Perusing Portland

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3.92 avg rating — 13 ratings — published 2015 — 2 editions
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Beyond Barlow

really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 14 ratings — published 2017 — 2 editions
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More books by Jason R. Koivu…
http://jasonrkoivu.blogspot.com/ is the new blog for the Beyond Barlow fantasy series. It replaces the old website. Check it out for updates and exclusives.

Thank you and my best to you in 2019!
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Published on January 02, 2019 10:25 • 10 views • Tags: beyond-barlow-fantasy-series

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Taken by Robert Crais
"If I ever get kidnapped I want Joe Pike looking for me.

Private detective Elvis Cole gets hired to find a young woman because she dropped out of sight for a few days. The mother suspects that her daughter is with a boyfriend that she disapproves of..." Read more of this review »
Jason Koivu and 37 other people liked Dan Schwent's review of Recursion:
Recursion by Blake Crouch
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
A Forgotten Hero by Shelley Emling
"Forgotten Hero tells the story of Folke Bernadotte, Swedish head of The Red Cross, who had orchestrated the rescue of 30,000 Jewish women near the end of the Second World War.

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"My wife and I both dismiss Valentine's Day as a commercial holiday. When I got home from work yesterday, she surprised me with this. Luckily I'd gotten her a t-shirt with that caterpillar from the Labyrinth on it so I wasn't caught empty-handed.

Th..." Read more of this review »
Jason Koivu rated a book really liked it
Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
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Victorian values in small town England are skewered. Gaskell's lampooning of old biddies is razor-sharp in the first portion of Cranford. It dulls a bit and the story bogs down in the middle. By the end, the mocking is over and you're pulling for a h ...more
Jason Koivu rated a book really liked it
A Savage Place by Robert B. Parker
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A young female reporter is uncovering mob connections in the Los Angeles film industry and Spenser gets roped in.

It might seem a little odd that a Boston-based detective is needed to fly across the country to handle an affair that a local p.i. could
...more
Jason Koivu made a comment in the group Goodreads FeedbackMost Read Authors Stats topic
" What?! Why would they remove the Most Read Authors list? Was one graphics-free page sucking up bandwidth and dragging down the site? Bring back the MR ...more "
Jason Koivu rated a book really liked it
A Savage Place by Robert B. Parker
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A young female reporter is uncovering mob connections in the Los Angeles film industry and Spenser gets roped in.

It might seem a little odd that a Boston-based detective is needed to fly across the country to handle an affair that a local p.i. could
...more
Jason Koivu rated a book really liked it
Failure Is an Option by H. Jon Benjamin
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By no means perfect, but any book that can make me snort-laugh on multiple occasions will get a thumbs up from me!

Most know him as the voice of Archer. I'm going to be pretentious and say that I read this because I've been a fan of his since he voice
...more
Jason Koivu added a status update: I've noticed a trend in recent friend quests. Right now I have nine of them. Five have less than 10 friends each. Six have a profile pic of some random object, and two have no pic at all. Is it just me or does it seem like there are fewer and fewer real people on here?
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“To have one man's nut lay against another man's is a most awkward position to find oneself.”
Jason R. Koivu, Spritzerville,…Ohio?

“In Mexico, dishes pile up in the sink just as fast as in the States, goddamn it.”
Jason R. Koivu, Go Home, Oaxaca. You're Drunk.

“Para todo mal, mezcal, y para
todo bien, tambien. - A Oaxacan Proverb”
Jason R. Koivu, Go Home, Oaxaca. You're Drunk.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou

“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.”
Karl Pilkington

“I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
David Sedaris, Naked

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

“I agree that it's a shame some books have to suffer ratings that clearly are invalid. However I can't think of a way to prevent it, and I didn't see any ideas in the thread either (I did skim though).

I hope you'll appreciate that if we just start deleting ratings whenever we feel like it, that we've gone down a censorship road that doesn't take us to a good place.”
Otis Y. Chandler

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Comments (showing 68-117)    post a comment »

Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Rabid Reads-no-more YO! All that sweet talk is gonna make me blush! ;) It was super fun to meet you too, and don't be a stranger. <------I mean it. *nods emphatically*


Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* LOL, unfortunately, that is indeed a process of aging..... or so I'm learning.

That and having less tolerance for youngins ;)


Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* Just dropping by to say, your new profile picture is awesome!!

Hope all is well :)


message 114: by Jason

Jason Koivu Shelby *wants some flying monkeys* wrote: "

"


Awwww, thanks, Shelby!


message 112: by Jason

Jason Koivu Miriam wrote: "You avatar with the yellow strands reminds me of an art installation I saw a couple years back."

Bingo! This was at the Modern Art museum in LA, probably a couple years back. I call this piece "Spaghetti con Koivu".


message 111: by Miriam

Miriam You avatar with the yellow strands reminds me of an art installation I saw a couple years back.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* You should know by now how easily I am confused. I saw your new avatar and was like who is that dude?

Evil Wiener that's who!


Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* Why thank you for the friendvite, Jason :)

I have been review stalking you for awhile now, nice to make it mutual :D


message 107: by Dan

Dan Schwent Jason wrote: "Dan wrote: "http://youtu.be/pPyuZ6ZTqmo"

I was going to act all like "what?!", but let's be honest, this sums up our relationship to a tee."


Those were my thoughts.


message 106: by Jason

Jason Koivu Dan wrote: "http://youtu.be/pPyuZ6ZTqmo"

I was going to act all like "what?!", but let's be honest, this sums up our relationship to a tee.


message 104: by Dan

Dan Schwent Jason wrote: "I just noticed that you called me a homeless man on Shelf Inflicted. I'll have you know that I prefer the term "hobo," thank you very much!"

I had to make it politically correct! Can I meet you halfway and call you a transient?


Nefariousbig I look forward to reading about your Oaxacan adventure!
description


message 102: by Melki

Melki description
for the book, muchacho!


message 101: by Nicole~

Nicole~ Thank you for the friend-vite, Jason. Your GR page is the most entertaining I've come across on GR.


message 100: by Melki

Melki description

Dice shaming.


message 99: by Aimen

Aimen Jason wrote: "Aimen wrote: "How are the parmesan fries in relation to cheese fries?"

The "cheese fries" that I've had usually come smothered in a blanket of something like Cheddar or American, whereas the Parme..."


Sounds amazing, definitely will want to try soon. And yes, I tried truffle fries- I still prefer curly or cheese. But any potato related food will satisfy my cravings:)


message 98: by Aimen

Aimen How are the parmesan fries in relation to cheese fries?


 Linda (Miss Greedybooks) Thanks for the friend request! I love The Tao of Pooh, I hope you do too. I have already added to my TBR, thank you. I look forward to stalking your shelves.


message 96: by Glenn

Glenn Russell Thanks for accepting my friend request, Jason. I did a review of EL's Rum Punch you might want to check out.


message 95: by Jason

Jason Koivu Melki wrote: "#BabyEyebrows

http://laughingsquid.com/babyeyebrows..."


Babies are evil.


Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies There have been many great Khans throughout history, I'm the only one with an H at the end of her name though.


message 92: by Dan

Dan Schwent This sloth mug is great for drinking. And you can even drink things besides coffee out of it!


Nefariousbig James Franco is wearing his Spritzerville cape!!
Ohio!


message 90: by Melki

Melki I also have Steve Lowe's address. Since he lives in Indiana, I'll probably stop and stalk him for a while on the way to your place, but don't worry, I'll get to you eventually.

Keep checking those bushes!


message 89: by Melki

Melki Spritzerville,…Ohio? is here!

Thanks for your address, Jason. It makes stalking that much easier.


message 88: by Brian

Brian Thanks for the friend request - i've been following your reviews for so long I thought that had already happened.

I'm so glad to be connected to another Patrick O'Brian fan. I want to reread the Aubrey/Maturin series again one day soon.

To books!


message 87: by Jason

Jason Koivu Tatuu wrote: "When did these changes to your page happen?"

When I hit puberty. :) About a week ago.


message 86: by Tatuu

Tatuu When did these changes to your page happen?


message 85: by Jason

Jason Koivu Shelby wrote: "Checking in on you to see if your head has grown any since you are now an author. Nope looks the same to me. Where's my dang author spam from you?"

My head stopped swelling when I got into college and realized I didn't know jack sh!t. Before that though, I had cauliflower ear issues from scraping them on door frames every time I'd walk into a room.

Putting out a book, for me, has been a humbling experience thus far. Sending your work off for others to judge would take the pride and arrogance out of the most Mr. Darciest of authors! But having people actually like your work, to praise it, take it seriously and want to read more, that makes me weak in the knees so much so that I doubt I could stand on any self-made pedestal even if I wanted to.

As for spam…I'll still fry it up and eat it now and then, but I don't like to foist it upon others. Perhaps at some point it'll become necessary, but I won't do it willingly. I'd love to rid the world of junk mail, telemarketers and salesmen of all sorts. I really don't want to add to it.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Checking in on you to see if your head has grown any since you are now an author. Nope looks the same to me. Where's my dang author spam from you?


message 83: by Jason

Jason He's unique all right.


message 82: by Jason

Jason Koivu Only diamonds are forever. Vacca is a diamond in the rough.


message 81: by Jason

Jason "Forever" in Vacca terms means a coupla weeks or so.


message 80: by Anthony

Anthony Vacca I swore off this site forever back in November, and then two days ago I decided to come back and start all over again.


message 79: by Jason

Jason Koivu Richard wrote: "...By the way, my skull will one day look like yours, only I won't have to shave it to get it that way...

Richard, I saw where things were headed and I just decided to beat mother nature to the punch.


message 78: by Jason

Jason Koivu Dan wrote: "You must appease your alien clam overlords!"

If other examples are anything to go by, the proper sacrifice would be quality - I need to pump out at least a half dozen "books" per year…which dear moneyed reader are available for purchase on *da-dah-da-DAAHHH!* -->> AMAZON!!!


message 77: by Richard

Richard Dan wrote: "You must appease your alien clam overlords!"

Scientology? I'm getting a very clammy feeling. Keep your skull smooth and hairless, Jason; then when the aliens try to invade your mind, their messages will just bounce off. By the way, my skull will one day look like yours, only I won't have to shave it to get it that way...


message 76: by Dan

Dan Schwent You must appease your alien clam overlords!


message 75: by Jason

Jason Koivu Dan wrote: "Since your a Goodreads author now, don't forget to spam the shit out of people."

Oh man, when you turn to the darkside it becomes all about the spamming. Immediately they're like "Start a blog!", "Do an event!", "Promote! Promote! Promote!". It's the kind of pressure probably felt by new recruits to Scientology.


message 74: by Dan

Dan Schwent Since your a Goodreads author now, don't forget to spam the shit out of people.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Jason wrote: "Thanks for the Christmas wishes, Shelby! Sorry I removed it from my page, but gifs slow down page loading and overheat my comp's processor. But I do appreciate the thought!"

Not a problem buddy :)


message 72: by Dolors

Dolors Hello Jason, thank you very much for your friend request, I am most delighted to accept after having followed with great interest your comments here and there in common GR friends' reviews.


Nefariousbig I forgot to say how much I LOVE THE DRAWINGS! No shit, dude, this must be made!


Nefariousbig It definitely will! According to my math, you're already 12/2 way there! I'll keep my eye on it and make sure I get the word out to peeps who still think I'm a decent person! (i.e., the bums on my street corner!)


Nefariousbig Jason, I LOVE THIS!! I just made my pledge to support you and your project until death do you part or until you pull all your hair out...wait...oh, scratch that last part.

Good Luck and all that.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2...


message 68: by Traveller (last edited Oct 12, 2013 12:12AM)

Traveller Hi Jason! Glad we're 'really' GR friends now. :) Thanks for adding me to the club.


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